The Mentors Who Changed My Life—and How to Find Yours

By: Bibi Hakim

I want to start off the year by expressing my deepest gratitude to the people who have supported me in the pursuit of my goals and in life—my mentors. Your guidance, belief, and willingness to share your wisdom have shaped not only my career, but the person I’ve become. Without you, I would not be where I am today, nor would I be experiencing the abundance of growth and success I’ve been fortunate to achieve over the past decade. Each lesson, conversation, and moment of encouragement has left a lasting impact, and I carry your influence with me as I move forward into this new year.

Often when people talk about success, the focus is placed on individual talent or hard work. While those qualities certainly matter, they don’t tell the full story. Looking back on my own journey—and how I came to where I am today working in federal politics and diplomacy—one truth stands out clearly: I would not be here without mentors.

My mentors helped me see what was possible long before I could see it for myself, and then challenged me to rise to that vision. They pushed me beyond my comfort zone, instilled confidence when doubt crept in, and consistently supported my growth through guidance, honesty, and encouragement. Their belief in me shaped my path, and their lessons continue to influence how I lead, serve, and show up every day.

Some mentors entered my life at exactly the moment I needed guidance. Others appeared more quietly, offering perspective through a single conversation that stayed with me for years. What they all had in common was this: they saw potential in me before I fully recognized it in myself.

Mentorship isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about having someone who asks better questions than you ask yourself. One mentor once told me, “You don’t need to shrink to fit into rooms—learn how to grow into them.”  That advice reshaped how I approached leadership, confidence, and the power of my own voice. Another mentor taught me the importance of preparation and integrity, reminding me that credibility is built long before it’s ever tested.

These lessons didn’t just guide my career; they shaped my values. They continue to influence how I navigate responsibility, opportunity, and service, and they remind me that true leadership is cultivated through humility, accountability, and the willingness to keep learning.

One of the biggest misconceptions about mentorship is that it has to be formal. In reality, mentors can be teachers, managers, colleagues, community leaders, or even peers who challenge you to think differently. Some of the most impactful guidance I’ve received came from people who may not have even realized they were mentoring me at all.

My earliest mentors were my teachers and a police officer—individuals who showed patience with the countless questions I asked (and I asked many). At times, their mentorship looked like answering those questions; at other times, it simply meant giving me space to exist, to steady myself, and to find my breath before speeches, presentations, or my first experience serving as a Master of Ceremonies. Their presence and encouragement mattered just as much as their advice.

While there were moments when I actively sought guidance, there were also times when people sought me out—offering support, encouragement, and belief without being asked. Many of those individuals have been walking alongside me since childhood, quietly reinforcing the importance of community, consistency, and showing up for one another.

So how do you find mentors?

First, get clear on what you’re seeking. Are you looking for career guidance, personal growth, leadership advice, or insight into a specific field? Knowing this helps you identify the right people—not just the most impressive ones.

Second, be curious and intentional. Pay attention to people whose paths inspire you. Read their work, listen to how they speak, notice how they handle challenges. Reach out respectfully. A thoughtful message that says, “I admire your work and would love to learn from your experience,” can open more doors than you expect.

Third, start small. Mentorship doesn’t begin with big asks. It begins with conversation. Ask questions. Seek feedback. Be open to learning. Over time, trust and connection grow naturally. Learn about the person who you are seeking advice from. Some of the best learning lessons came from learning about someone’s path and story. 

Fourth, give before you receive. Show up prepared. Follow through. Express gratitude. Expressing gratitude is critical. Mentorship is a relationship, not a transaction. When people see that you value their time and insight, they’re more likely to invest in you. Hot take, while you might seek advice from someone, you are not entitled to their time. They may say no to your ask and that is ok. 

Finally, pay it forward. One of the most meaningful ways to honour your mentors is to become one yourself. Share what you’ve learned. Encourage someone who’s just starting out. Leadership isn’t just about how far you go—it’s about how many people you bring with you. Mentors don’t shape your path for you, but they help illuminate it. And sometimes, all it takes is one person believing in you to change the direction of your life.

I would not be where I am today if it were not for the people who took time out of their busy schedules to meet me for coffee, offer advice, create safe spaces, and allow me to ask every question—sometimes more than once. I would not be here without the individuals who saw something in me and extended a hand before I even knew how to ask for help. To all of you, I say thank you.

From my teachers in elementary school, high school, and university, to the Toronto Police Service, and to every organization I’ve been a part of over the past decade—your belief, guidance, and generosity shaped my path. I owe my success to each of you.

If you are a student seeking advice, my ask is simple: ask.

Reach out, be curious, and don’t be afraid to start the conversation. And if you are a professional, I hope this reflection encourages you to extend your hand to a young person and become a mentor, just as so many have done for me.