The Journey, Not the Goal

By: Valini Sukhu

Our bodies are complicated. The way we view them and move them can impact

our wellbeing in so many ways. After having two kids, the way I felt about my

own body has had its peaks and valleys. Growing up, I was always on the

slimmer side, but not active. I chalked it up to “good genes”, never really having

to worry about my size. As I got older, that perspective began to change. Not

because of size, but because of age.

Pregnancy definitely changed everything. As my body grew to adapt to a growing life, I started to feel a bit foreign in my own skin. Forgetting what I looked like before, how did I walk, did my hips make noises before? Wondering if I’d ever feel like I used to: would I move like I used to, laugh again without worry? Postpartum hit me like a truck. Staring at my deflated body while my hormones were crashing. Friends would tell me that I looked great, that I bounced right back, but truthfully, it didn’t feel that way. Why didn’t I look the same? I should look and feel better, right?

After a really tough phase of postpartum depression and some stress induced weight loss, I looked at myself one day and realized all my muscle was gone. Sort of thin again, but deep down, not very healthy.

First came the gym; I started slowly, learning the basics, trying to focus on my

discipline and developing a sustainable habit. My goal was simple: show up

and be consistent. It felt good! I felt strong and had purpose. Each day was a

new adventure. I saw my body change but I lacked a key component to overall

healt —my nutrition.

(Not so) jokingly, I’d say I work out to outrun my genes. With diabetes and heart

disease on both sides of my family, I told myself that focusing on moving my

body more could maybe starve off the inevitable. Looking back, I had the right

spirit and it’s what continues to motivate me along the way.

Two months ago, I said time for a level up and said let’s do some research and

focus on my nutrition for a few weeks. Would it work? I wasn’t so sure but it was

worth the attempt. Just like my dedication to discipline, this was another goal

for myself.

But I learned quite a few things over the past few weeks that had nothing to do

with the scale. I learned what I love to cook and how to make foods that not

only taste good, but feel good. How to prioritize my movement and fuel my

body so that I could continue reaching my goals. I learned that every day

wouldn’t be perfect, but as long as I made the effort to stay consistent then it

was worth it. I learned how to enjoy all of my favourite things with balance and

didn’t restrict the things I love. Slow and steady progress meant sustainable

results to me.

Ultimately, the most important thing I learned about me and my body was how

to be kinder to it. How to listen to its needs and admire her resiliency. It’s given

me so much: physical strength, two kids, the privilege of movement. Our bodies

are incredible when we treat them softly. Prioritizing rest when I needed it and

enjoying indulges because life is worthy of them.

While we may often have similar goals, our journeys are all different. What we

take away from them are the shiny gems that shape our uniqueness.

I wasn’t sure if I was going to share since I haven’t reached my goal at the time

of writing this, but when I reflect on the past few weeks, the message I hope

you take away is that it isn’t about the goal—it’s about the journey.

I’m confident I’ll get there with consistency to myself but the most valuable

lesson is the perspective shift that came from within—I shouldn’t be so hard on

myself because I’m proud of my progress and my hard work. And that kind of

lesson doesn’t come from the good days, it comes from the days that feel like

failure. I’m learning that my real strength is built when I pick myself back up

again and quietly try again tomorrow.